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From Northern Lights 2 Apples

Bijgewerkt op: 15 okt. 2021

My book, my life... what am I going to be remembered as? Pff, in the end no one is going to read that, because the only thing you're going to get out of it are the mashed in, healthy yet unhealthy healthy feeding schedules and the too much exercising can never not train

Just like the imaginary, excess fat on my bones and few remaining but weak muscles.

Once again, my cheeks are starting to swell from that idea.

What a stomach ache and bad mood.

'What are we catty again today?',

Yes. That 89g cucumber is on it and that sickens me.

Sick. Do you hear that yourself? Sick. You say it you hear it but you don't want to accept it because are you EVER 'sick enough' ?...

When does the acceptance come?

When does the realization come?

My skin is dry and it hurts, my hair falls out and my bones… I can't sit on anything anymore because everything hurts.

How can you be so happy, with so much pain...

Like a 'Glass Catfish'...

Being happy only comes after the realization.

Realize about the fact, this is REALITY.

This is really happening to ME, RIGHT NOW.

If this all would only be a fairy tail.... Just like Snow White and Rapunzel...

A fairy tail with a happy ending...

Look Cinderella how crazy happy...

Tinkerbell so satisfied...

All stories that I can't match,

Because mine... is only about the poisoned apple of Snow White.

A poisonous, sour apple that now I have to bite through.

The acid flows along my teeth,

Down my throat, through to my esophagus straight into my stomach...

The acid... it burns!

I want it out... but I have done this to myself....

Swap my plate again with a large bowl.

Sour out but still not really...

Snow White, what a deception you are...

It's not always a 'happy ending'.

The prince on the white horse... I’m still hoping for that. That moral support.

Someone who feeds me sweet words, not bread...

Someone who feeds me sweet words, not cake...

Someone who feeds me sweet words, not rice...

Someone who speaks kind words to me, and tells me, everything will be fine again.

That it runs how it runs, and goes as it goes....

But oh, how I miss that cardio today... That 89g... in a day I will be rolling again.

Tears rolling gently every night deep into the night and again in response to the question...

'When will I get my well-deserved rest. Will this ever be okay…

Tears rolling, and if only harder, .

That plate again... that I exchange with a larger bowl..

Oh Snow White, why am I so poisoned by that sour apple....

That oh so sour apple that corrupts my book.

That oh so sour apple that wants to take away my northern lights.

That oh so sour apple... that ruins my life.

The worst part is that... I can't do anything about it,

Throwing away my sour apple just didn't work.

My hands, they just don't cooperate.

My thoughts, they just don't cooperate...

A head that strigues against and a girl fighting.... Doesn't it sound so crazy?

Fights... fight yes... that's what you're doing now.

But girls don't fight in fairy tales and this whole event feels so surreal I still can't process it or believe it..


*PART THREE INCOMING!

*Bucketlist: must see the Northern Lights at least once in my life!

*Bucketlist: bake an apple cinnamon cake!

LOTS OF LOVE! <3

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